The Juggernaut

Juggernaut [Juhg-er-nawt, -not] noun

1. ( often lowercase ) any large, overpowering, destructive force or object.

2. ( often lowercase ) anything requiring blind devotion or cruel sacrifice.

When I try to imagine time, it appears to be in numerous shapes and sizes, but the most frequent dimension that appears, scares me a lot. Time to me appears like a giant wheel, probably made of unbreakable stone that spans to whatever extent my eyes can see. It appears to be constantly rolling, slow and steady and at a fixed pace. I don’t know who powers it but it knows only one thing and it is to roll endlessly for crushing everything that comes in its path. No matter what you do, when the time comes, it will come for you and will crush you. The rolling stone has no feelings but is very cruel. If it crushes you, it will be no fun; hence it starts with crushing what you cherish the most.

I find myself in its path, and also see my dreams, wishes, goals and everything that is close to me. I know that this roller will eventually crush everything I have, until I am left by myself, and leave me to run as far as I can so that it can smile on my desperation for escaping it, but it’s just a matter of time. Many times, I already know the outcome of few things and I am well aware that no matter what I do, what tantrums I throw, this stone will shape things in a way that my efforts will get washed away and the outcome will be what I expected to begin with. The question arises, why do I put any efforts when I already know the outcome?

Probably I put efforts because my imagination dominates. I think, I will be so sincere in my efforts that when the rolling stone comes to crush something that I cherish; its heart will melt looking at my efforts for preserving what I have and it may change its decision. While I am busy putting efforts in preserving it, I forget that time has no feelings; it will see nothing and will keep doing what it is good at. Suddenly, I realize that signs of the expected outcome start appearing and more desperately I try to preserve at least what I can. Not to mention, the fear grows; it’s just a matter of time that I’ll see my dreams crushed and helplessly I’ll see it happening.

Sometimes it feels, wish I could have put just a little more effort; I could have avoided the outcome. This bloody feeling tries to eat me from within. Hence, I try to put all my efforts in no matter what I do, so that if the outcome is in my favor, I’ll celebrate it just because my efforts have earned it to me, and if it’s not in favor, I can be a little satisfied that at least I did the best I could.