Flag Hoisting

Couple of day’s back I found an old friend from one of my schools on Orkut (A social N/W site). The moment I found him, I had a broad smile on my face because I could see my childhood flashing in front of my eyes. I tried coming out of it, but I just couldn’t.

I am the most notorious amongst the siblings and was worst in my childhood. I would leave no gaps for pushing myself into really deep troubles. The main reason for getting into deep troubles was because I am kind heartened person, and hence cannot see others suffer because of my evil plots, and if such occasions occurred, I used to fall into the shit and eat the fruits of my own tree, and believe me it needed lots of courage to do that, because no one appreciated it and being responsible for the mess, I could not justify it to elders.

This particular incidence takes me back to 1993, when I was staying in H.A Colony, Pune. I was a grade 3 student and studying in H.A School. Our school was all made of stones and used to look spooky especially after school hours. In our school was a Biology Lab and this lab had a human skeleton enclosed in a glass enclosure. This setup was kept near the lab entrance. Unfortunately the lab was on the way to our class after the morning prayers. Every morning we guys used to peep into the lab, just to ensure that the skeleton was still in the chamber, because an empty chamber simply meant that the skeleton was on prowl and we must be extra cautious else we can be his meal.

There were rumors about this skeleton and every member of my peer group was afraid of it, probably we could have pissed in our pants if left in the lab alone even for 1 minute. The rumors were very strong and wide spread, even friends going to different schools were aware of it. The rumor was that there is a Periwinkle flower always kept in front of the skeleton, the skeleton remains in the enclosure till the flower was fresh, but as the flower wilted, the skeleton comes out of the enclosure and haunts the school premises till dawn. Early in the morning someone replaced the wilted flower with a fresh one and hence skeleton had to return back. It was assumed that the skeleton can come any time after 6 in the evening.

Next to the school was a playground with all the slides and swings a kid could ever think of. We all friends used to play there till 6 after school hours. One fine evening a couple managed to escape into the school premises and it appeared as if they were up to something as they were hunting for a private location. I told my friends that it will be fun watching them doing something, and everyone was exited with this idea. We all quickly climbed up the huge school gate, this gate had sharp arrow kind of structure uniformly placed on top, but we managed to enter the school premises unhurt. In this process and excitement, we forgotten about the time, happily we hid ourselves to get a clear view of everything the couple was up to.

Before any action could start, an asshole shouted "Run, its S I X and skeleton will kill us all". Hearing this everyone screamed and we ran towards the main gate, as I was running, I thought if skeleton eats someone, I’ll be dead because it was my idea to enter the school and the reason for doing this was stupid. I suddenly stopped near the gate and helped everyone to climb the gate. I started climbing only once the last guy in the group reached half way up the gate, we climbed it the fastest we could and the moment I reached the top of the gate, someone shouted he could see the skeleton approaching the gate. Believe me, I turned cold in an instant and could not think of what to do, so I just jumped off the gate. While doing that, I my pant got stuck in one of the pointed arrow like structure on the gate. I couldn't balance my fall because of my pant and fell bad on ground, obviously with no pants on. Everyone started laughing, and I was really ashamed (luckily I had already started wearing undies), as I was laying on the ground, I looked at my torn pants and it fluttered like a flag. Few guys climbed the gate and de-hoisted the flag, and I wrapped it as a towel and went home only in the late evening hours.

Reaching home, my papa was already furious because I was late for studies and on top of it, I had torn my pants. My ears were pulled (with all the force my dad could gather) till tears crumbled off my cheek and was asked to justify for the torn pants. With tears in my eye, I looked at my mom and said, I threw stone at a stray dog and the dog attacked me and in the process of saving myself, I climbed the school gate and while jumping from it, my pant got stuck in the arrow and I tore my pant. If my mom gets satisfied with the explanations, it doesn’t matter whether my father is satisfied or not. Luckily tears helped me to save my sole for more mischief.

I wish to know whether this rumor still resides in the hearts of students studying in grade 3/4 of my school, and is it the same skeleton in the lab or have they got a new one or have they removed it after this incident of mine?

F A R T

A friend of mine believes "Farting is a personal disaster", this guy appears to be more experienced than me, in farting.

One of the most disgusting moments in life is to fart, either in public or private. Here are few of the fart scenarios i have gone through.

1. Scenario: Its really cold out and after never ending efforts, you succeed to cover yourself in a warm blanket and as it grows warm inside, silently you fart.

2. Scenario: You approach your professor in his cabin to get your doubts cleared and when he/she gets involved in explaining it to you, silently you fart (don't prove yourself the culprit by looking at his face, just ignore the smell and continue with your work).

3. Scenario: The most beautiful girl approaches you and with a smile on your face, silently you fart and behave as if she farted.

4. Scenario: You are alone in an elevator and as the doors open in front of girls waiting to board into it, you silently fart and move out and while escaping, you hear them yelling "What a pathetic odor".

5. Scenario: You are going with your friends in a car and for some reason everyone is teasing you and suddenly you fart, and now they get a new topic.

6. Scenario: You are in a car with your friends and everyone is silent, suddenly you fart loud and so does your other friend, now you get a company and you both fart proudly in the whole journey and pester others.

7. Scenario: You are in an exam hall with pin drop silence and taking a test, suddenly you fart loud, and when everyone looks at you with suspicion, nicely you push the blame on your neighbor (what a clean escape).

8. Scenario: You have been farting for quite a long time and then you decide to go to restroom. After flushing your "boo boo" you feel that you have given an end to farts for at least today, and when you are washing your hands, suddenly you look at your face in the mirror and fart again.

9. Scenario: You are at a private tuition and you forget to finish your homework, when the tutor is scolding you, you fart, yuppie what a success.

10. Scenario: You are in a crowded train, and you really fart bad, now you have an upper hand, as no one in the world could ever figure out who farted, so keep farting.

11. Scenario: You step upon the podium to congratulate a newly wed couple, and while waiting for the picture to be taken, you silently fart (wish you get that picture, it will be fun to see others expression).

12. Scenario: You hate a girl, and suddenly she farts when you are around, yuk i don't have words to express my anger.

13. Scenario: A very pretty girl farts and you think she'll look at you innocently hoping you don't mind and then you'll look at her pretending you didn't smell anything and eventually you'll become best friends and after couple of days you both will fall in love, dude wake up it has been about 1/2 hour she farted and she didn't even bother about you.