B-Grade

With no plans this weekend, I spent all my time working on my projects, suddenly a thought rolled in mind and the angel within me spoke, "Prakash, as you are getting bored, and what could be better than watching a dumb movie". I do it many time just to kill my time, for me a dumb movie implies a movie which is an ultimate crap to its core. The movie is not supposed to have a story at all, must cast most hopeless of all actors and every dialogue of it must piss me off. I bear this pain for a gain in disguise, and the gain is really fruitful. After watching these movies I spend all me week making sense out of this movie and the thought of every dialogue makes me smile and wonder how the hell in this world can anyone come out with such a nonsense thought. Also, when I don't feel like getting into conversation with people I just re-state these filmy dialogues to piss them off.

Out of many movies I watched, few are "Rocky (hindi movie), Dhoom II, Suraj ka saatwan ghoda, Bach Ke Zara, President, Shaque, Chumban (The Kiss) and many more. After working for two long days (who likes to work on weekends), an uncontrolled desire to watch such movies overwhelmed me and I started hunting for them on internet. Suddenly, the evil within me spoke, "Prakash why don't you try watching some Hindi B-grade movies, they are all crap". I thought the angel within me will retaliate (as it does all the time), but this time it kept quite as if even he wanted this to happen.

I searched for torrents on internet for Hindi B-grade movies and unfortunately couldn’t find any, but what I found is much more interesting. I found many titles of Hindi B-Grade movies and here are few of them. These titles are not fiction but actual B-grade film titles; I want to personally meet those people who can even think of such titles to begin with.

1. Murde Ki Maut
2. Kahani Kamini Ki
3. Purani Kabar
4. Bhoot
5. KamaTantra
6. Jalve Hi Jalve
7. Jawani Main Barsat
8. Jawani Ki Quri
9. Bhoot Bangle Ke Andar
10. Kya Koi Hai
11. Kabristan
12. Ladki Fisal Gayee
13. Shamshan Ghaat
14. Haseen Reshma
15. Jawani 16 Saal Ki
16. Dil ki Diwani
17. Main Hoon Miss chandni
18. Shaitaani Khazaana
19. Bindiya Aur Bandook
20. Main Jyoti Tu Jwala
21. Kasam
22. Jungle Ki Sherni
23. Basanti
24. School Girl
25. Maut Ki Haveli
26. Aadhi Raat
27. Khooni No 1
28. Khooni Panja
29. Aati kya khandaala
30. Bungalow No. 666

Though the list ends, but the legend of B-Grade movies survives to celebrate the triumph of being discovered by me.

These low budget movies are filmed by ephemeral actors and producers, unknown to the mass, and are amongst the people who wish there movies never become blockbusters; if so soon they will be behind the bars. These people are aware that movie has nothing in it but at the same time want to attract people towards it, and just to do this they design the most vulgar posters and the most weirdest movie titles. Being a movie, these movies are premiered on Fridays and movie posters are pasted near public places on Thursday nights. These posters act as bait to attract people and implant a seed of desire in their minds.

These bait attract lots of people, some are regular and frequent visitors, while many step into their adolescence through these theaters and movies. It reminds me of a friend who was once attracted by a poster of a B-grade movie. He described that the poster was so hot, that he was heading towards his college but ended up in a B-grade theater as if he was walking in his sleep. He couldn’t recall the moment when he decided about going, he says it just happened. He played Rs. 10 for the movie and watched the 2.5hrs long movie. He said, on the poster they showed a bikini babe in shower, hoping of some fun he watched the complete movie but the babe never even slipped her pallu, I almost died laughing at him.

Heart in heart everyone will agree to me, that the posters were actually hot and teasing. I knew each and every place on my route to college, where they stuck these posters. Later I discovered everyone in my class did the same, and every Friday we all friends discussed over the movies released for the week.

Anyways, old days are always golden, and now I am too mature to do such activities, but occasions are exceptions.